Question: I find it easier to say "no" to my children that to say "yes," even when I don't feel strongly about the permission they are seeking. I wonder why I automatically respond so negatively.
Answer: It is easy to fall into the habit of saying "no" to our kids.
"No, you can't go outside."
"No, you can't have a cookie."
"No, you can't use the telephone."
"No, you can't spend the night with a friend."
We parents could have answered affirmatively to all of these requests, but chose almost automatically to respond in the negative. Why? Because we didn't take time to stop and think about the consequences; because the activity could cause us more work or strain; because there could be danger in the request; because our children ask for a thousand favors a day and we find it convenient to refuse them all.
While every child needs to be acquainted with denial of some of his more extravagant wishes, there is also a need for parents to consider each request on its own merit. There are so many necessary "no's" in life that we should say "yes" whenever we can.
Dr. Fitzhugh Dodson extended this idea in his book HOW TO FATHER, saying that your child "needs time with you when you are not demanding anything from him, time when the two of you are mutually enjoying yourselves." I agree!
Dr. Dobson Answers Your QuestionsBy Dr. James Dobson