Roger Marsh: Unrealistic expectations and the stress of everyday life weigh many mothers down. This false idea of the perfect house, the perfect kids, the perfect life, it really destroys a woman's self-confidence. That's why this broadcast today here on Family Tal, will focus on encouraging moms by using what some call the best medicine of all, and that's laughter. Today we're going to revisit a very humorous presentation from Mrs. Sally Baucke. Funny Gal Sal, as she's often called, is a professional comedian and a highly sought-after speaker. She's toured the country speaking at MOPs and Hearts at Home conferences along with the Aspire Women events. She wrote her own autobiography back in 2013, called What Didn't Kill Me Made Me Funny.
In a moment, Sally will use her own funny family stories to motivate moms to embrace the craziness of life. She'll also encourage women to remember their higher calling, to mold and care for their kids. Now we hope this message will bring a measure of joy to you as a mom tuning in right now and just feeling kind of worn out. We all know how draining and heavy life can be at times. That's why we want you to lean back and enjoy this uplifting presentation. Here now is Mrs. Sally Baucke, on this edition of Family Talk.
Sally Baucke: I am so excited to be here. Thank you for having me. My name is Sally Baucke. Say it with me.
Audience: Baucke.
Sally Baucke: I love that guy, but that name is bad. Anyways, oh, I'm so excited to be here. I love being with other moms the most, and you guys are awesome. This has been an awesome day so far. I've been looking so forward to this. Let me just ask you, do you miss your kids yet?
Audience: No.
Sally Baucke: I kind of do. JK, LOL. Can you tell I have teenagers? I just talk like that all the time. "POS," "parent over shoulder," yeah. But I love, love to come here. Whoever said "absence makes the heart grow fonder," was definitely a mother. You know what M-O-T-H-E-R-S stands for, does anybody remember? Making others time here on earth really special. I always have to lift my leg up at the end, I don't know why. But I always feel kind of guilty when I leave. Do you get that mother guilt when you leave? It just seems like everything falls apart when I leave. I can hear it now. Everything just kind of falls apart. You know what, you can't stay in the house forever though. I've just gotten so I take the oldest boy and I put a bottle in one hand and a box of Teddy Grahams in the other, and I just plop him down on the sofa in front of the TV and say, "See ya." And I know all that TV is supposed to be bad for their brain, but I think, "He has a master's degree. He should be okay."
But I do have standards, though don't get me wrong. Before I leave, I go, "Honey, no NASCAR." That's supposed to be really funny. That's hilarious to me, then he has a tantrum, of course. But then I get back in my minivan, always in the minivan. I always tell my husband, "I am not on a steering committee, I am the steering committee. That's all I do." And don't come up and tell me later that you have an SUV or a station wagon. They're all kid haulers, okay. I don't care. I'm talking about hauling kids. I feel like I'm in there all the time. And this year I've installed a microwave and a shower. So I can cook dinner and shave my legs without even pulling over.
Although it's kind of hard to get the end, to get the bottoms, it's hard to reach those. You remember kind of when you're pregnant, you can't even see your ankles, much less shave them. Do you remember that? By the ninth month, you can only reach so far, so you just end up prancing into the labor and delivery room like a Clydesdale. But sometimes it's just too hard to reach, so I just braid them and put little beads on the end. Makes it look like I've been in Cancun. Wouldn't Oprah have a cow if she knew I was doing that while I was driving. Someone's in trouble.
I have to tell you, and I fully get it, I mean, as a former trauma nurse, I really do get it, the distracted driving is a problem. I'm not making light of that. But if you really want to help me not be distracted while I'm driving, don't take away my cell phone, take away my children, please. And I mean it's really not so much the children of course, I adore them to death. It's the things that you have to do with the children in the car, like answer mind numbing questions over and over, until you slip into a coma. You have to referee. Sing Silly Songs with Larry.
And then of course, there's the ultimate thing that you have to do when the children are in the car. You know what I'm talking about? You have to feed them in the car because I don't know about you girls, but some days I am so busy, it's just drive in, drive through and drive on. You know what I'm saying? So to me, the bigger threat to my safety, it's not a cell phone, it's dipping sauces. I can't tell you how many times I have almost bit the dust trying to dip a nugget into a vat of ranch or sweet and sour sauce while I'm driving. Thank you, she does it too.
You know what I mean? You sit there, right? You're trying to balance the hot nuggets on one thigh, trying to keep the grease from staining your sweatpants. And then you're reaching in the bag. You're trying to see if it's what you want and you're trying to drive, and you're trying to feel for the little tab to pull off the little corner right? So you can't do it with your hands. So you get your tooth, trying to peel it off. You're steering, balancing, and then, you know what, half the time I can't get it. So then I just take my ring and I poke a hole in the top of it, then you got to kind of wipe that off. Then once you got that open, of course, who wants it, but the kids. So here you go.
Trying to steer and drive at the same time. Now tell me ladies, when in your entire lives, before you had children, did you ever have to put your arm in this position? No. There's no need. They ought to make that a test before you breed. Can she put her arm like this? No, she can't hack it, she'll never do it. But since I am on the steering committee, I'm always trying to steer my kids in the right direction, just like you guys. And you know what, sometimes that means you just got to run them over.
Oh, I don't mean like that. Come on, let's just pretend we miss them here a little bit girls, you horrible people. I'm talking about discipline. Discipline. Sometimes you just got to take the lead and I don't know about you, but sometimes when I hear myself disciplining, I kind of wonder, who's running over who. See if you've ever heard yourself do this. "Okay, you guys up there. Quit screaming! I heard that. Quit calling each other names, you little brats. All right, that's it. Both of you down here right now, right now, right now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You, be more patient and you, quit hitting."
I hear a little self-recognition in the laughter I think. Oh my gosh. And sometimes I just think that's it, I am going to blow. I've had it with you guys. And I just about... and I think, "Sally, get your Christian on. Get your Christian on," and I look over at my WWJD bracelet, and I think, "What would Jill do?" And she would say, "Sally, you need to make good choices." Sally, you need to make good choices. Sally doesn't want to make good choices. You can't make Sally make good choices.
Roger Marsh: This is Roger Marsh. And we have reached the midpoint of this very witty and clever presentation from comedian, Sally Baucke. We'll return you to the conclusion of this presentation in just a moment after this short word from Dr. Dobson:
Dr. Dobson: Many women these days report feeling anxious and insecure about the task of raising their sons. Whether they're single or married, there's just a sense of not being equipped to meet the special challenges of teaching and training young boys. Well, a friend of mine, the late Jean Lush, wrote a wonderful book on this subject appropriately called, Mothers and Sons. I think many women will be encouraged by the advice that she offered. First, she said that mothers should recognize that it's very normal for little boys to be difficult, even extremely difficult at times.
Emerging masculinity can be a boisterous and destructive force. Mothers should also learn to anticipate their son's energy level and look for ways to channel that force into competition, football, basketball, soccer, or other physical activity, because boys need this outlet for the testosterone that surges within. Also, mothers should keep in mind that their little boys are still under construction. Someone referred to them as "wet cement," which I think says it very well. History shows that many great men began as baffling, headstrong boys who gave their mothers headaches. So don't get discouraged by those irresponsible, noisy, sometimes bratty boys in your home. You may be amazed by what those lads may eventually accomplish.
Roger Marsh: As you may know, the Christmas season is right around the corner. Are you still shopping for the loved ones in your life? Well, consider giving them a resource gift from Family Talk. Many of Dr. Dobson's timeless books, popular teaching DVDs and CDs are available on our website at drjamesdobson.org. Go to the resources tab there, and you can search through our various offerings. Place your order between now and December 14th, and you'll receive it by Christmas. Also, over the next few weeks, we'll be rolling out our highly anticipated 2020 best of broadcast collection. So be sure to listen to future programs for more information about that valuable CD set. Don't miss out on these meaningful and useful tools to give as gifts this Christmas season. Go to drjamesdobson.org and check out the resources tab today. Okay, let's continue now with the conclusion of today's presentation featuring Mrs. Sally Baucke here on Family Talk.
Sally Baucke: I tell you all this, just to let you know, I'm just a regular mom, just like anybody, and it's a hard job. And sometimes do you ever feel like you're just not doing maybe as good a job as everyone else? I kind of do, especially when I'm around those mothers, I call them Mother Superiors. You know some. You're probably sitting next to one and she thinks she's sitting next to you. I see the elbows flying. You know these mothers, you know their children, their children are all just a little too perfect, okay? They have perfect manners. They get fabulous grades. They're always dressed, even in the backyard, what's with that?
Those moms take four classes a day, okay? And these moms, they always have proof. Every 10 minutes they have a new picture of their children, right? Really? Oh, and their children are so beautifully smiling about their childhoods. They're perfectly coiffed. And for me gals, once a year was about all I could handle to get all three of my boys with a haircut, dressed and to a photo, it was all I could handle. Once a year, maybe. And I only did it, even that time, it was a little like playing whack-a-mole for me.
With my three boys, I'd get the one ready, and he'd be all ready and he'd go out and I get started on the second one. And then the first one's out playing in the mulch pile. Yeah. And then I bring him and get him cleaned up. And the second one's finger painting on the third one's face. And then they're all hungry, "We need snacks." I'd get them all in to it. That's feed them, bathe them, dress them. Feed them, bathe them, dress them. Feed them, bathe them, dress them. Spencer, Cooper, Camden. Spencer, Cooper... And then you put them in the car and you take them to the photographer and you set them down. And you go, "Smile. You're having a happy childhood." And I always bought the whole package if only one boy was bleeding in the picture. That was it, I was sold.
Spencer, Cooper, Camden. That's another thing. These mother superiors, they all have children with these magnificent, wonderful, meaningful names. And they all not only have the names, but they have them in plaques, plastered on their walls with the names and the meanings, have you've seen this? Names like Gabriel, hero of God. Elizabeth, God is my oath. Alexander, faithful warrior. I have a son named Cooper. It means barrel maker. I didn't even look up Camden's name. It's probably great for con-artists or something. Just better not to know. And these mothers superiors, they're also nutritionally superior as well. I'd go to playgroup and they're feeding their children little organic flax puffies. Or hand pressed, pomegranate juicy tidbits, no artificial nothing. And I didn't know that when I shouted out to my children, "Hey, be sure you guys eat your Pop-Tart before your Ding-Dong. It's got a whole day's vitamin spray right on it."
Oh, motherhood, when you think about it, it's just so permanent. There's no better word to describe it, is there? Oh my goodness. Oh, it is permanent. Such a permanent thing. I don't know about you, but sometimes I just think, "I'd kind of like to put that minivan in autopilot," and some days I think I have done just that. In fact, I know I have, because when the grind gets in the way and you have that permanent mother deja-vu, you look at a dirty dish and a dirty pair of underwear and you think, "Didn't I just wash that yesterday?" And I'm pretty sure I did. I just wonder sometimes is am I going anywhere with this motherhood thing, or am I just steering in circles? And you know what, it's then when I'm in the middle of the tedium, that God lovingly reminds me that steering my minivan and then ultimately steering my family is the most important thing I can do. And that he wants to help me do it because when I let him help me, then I truly have power-steering. I know, isn't that cute?
But it's hard. It's a hard job, isn't it? He knows that. I mean, okay, well getting the job wasn't so hard, okay? But I mean, think about it. You have to pass a test to get from one grade to the other. You have to maybe apply for college, maybe interview for a job. You have to audition for a husband. They call it dating, but it's really just auditioning. But motherhood, now it's a little, hmm, hmm and there you go. The job is yours forever. You can drop out of school. You can quit your job. You can hide from your husband in the other room, theoretically.
But being someone's mom, that's big and that's forever. That's forever. And it's awesome. That passage about a man whose quiver is full is a blessed man. And a quiver is something that holds its arrows, and for me, three is full because I'm still quivering from the last birth experience 15 years ago. But when you think about it, those children are arrows that you have in the back, that you are to shape, and to sharpen. And you do this, one day, and you send them out into the world and that's what you're supposed to do. And it's tough. Shaping and sharpening is a big job.
But here's the cool thing: you shape them; they shape the world. That's huge. You know what? The next time someone asks you what it is you do, don't just say, "I'm just a mom," because we've all said that, haven't we? Who has said that? "I'm just a mom." You're a world-shaper. And don't take that for granted, because you know what? It doesn't just affect you or them, it affects generations to come. You send them out. The morals you instill in them, the values you impart to them, the behaviors you model for them, and most definitely, the words you speak to them will far outlast you. Think about that. It can affect history.
My oldest son is a cadet at the United States Air Force Academy. And someday, because of the values instilled deep within him, he will protect you and your family while you sleep. My other two may rob you while you sleep. I don't know, still got a lot of sharpening to do on those two. But we all do. So let's do it well. And without distraction, shall we? Yep.
So I want you to listen for just a second. No, actually I want you to listen the whole time, but anyways, just for a second. The next peanut butter and jelly you have for the millionth time, see it as a power-lunch and the next kind of uncomfortable talk with your adolescent about making good choices, make it a power-meeting. And that next trip in the family car can be a power-trip because whether your hand is rocking the cradle or steering a minivan, moms rule the world. Thank you moms, you have been an awesome audience. Thank you.
Roger Marsh: Those are certainly valuable insights and great encouragement for the tired and worn out mom in our listening audience today. Friend, you're listening to Family Talk and we've been hearing a presentation from comedian and speaker, Sally Baucke. Visit today's broadcast page at drjamesdobson.org to connect with Sally online. Once you're there, you can also request a copy of this humorous and witty presentation. Click on the order a CD button to have a physical copy of Sally's message delivered directly to your door. You'll find all this and more when you go to drjamesdobson.org and then click on the broadcast button. Well that's all the time we have for today. Be sure to join us again next time for another edition of Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk.
Announcer: This has been a presentation of the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute.
Dr. Tim Clinton: This is Dr. Tim Clinton, Executive Director of the James Dobson Family Institute. Thanks for listening today. We hope you found this program helpful and encouraging. Please remember that our ministry is here to serve you and your family. For more information about our programs and resources, or to learn how you can support us, go to drjamesdobson.org. That's drjamesdobson.org or call us toll free, (877) 732-6825. I pray that God will bless you in 2020. We're so grateful for your partnership. We ask you to stand with us and to continue to defend the Christian values in an ever-changing culture. Thanks again for joining us. We hope you'll join us again on the next edition of Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk.
Dr. Dobson: Hello everyone. This is James Dobson, inviting you to join us for our next edition of Family Talk. Every day we come to these microphones with someone in mind, whether it's a busy mom looking for tips on discipline or a husband who wants to learn more about connecting with his wife. We want to put an arm around your family in any way that we can. So, join us next time for Family Talk, won't you?