With the passage of time, the sexuality of boys will become more apparent. Never believe for a moment that they are asexual, even from earliest childhood. Some toddlers and preschoolers will hold or rub their genitals, which has inaccurately been called masturbation. It embarrasses and worries their mothers, but it has no developmental or moral implications. It simply indicates that the boy has discovered "the good-feeling place." He can be taught that there is a right and wrong time to touch himself, but he should not be shamed or punished for revealing that he is wired properly.
When I was five years old, I was in bed one night with my great aunt. She was an older woman who had some prudish ideas. I was almost asleep, and she was reading a book. Suddenly, she said with alarm, "What are you doing under the covers?" Believe me, I was doing nothing under the covers. I didn't even know there was anything interesting to be done under the covers. It is funny when I think back on that moment, but it confused me at the time. I wondered what she was worried about. Don't make a similar mistake with your boys.
During the early elementary years, boys sometimes fantasize about women or girls. Not that they think about intercourse, which few of them understand, but they often have vague thoughts about nudity or other sexual images of females. It's all part of the male experience.
I'm reminded of a friend who was driving in her car with her seven-year-old son. Suddenly, he began asking all the relevant questions about sex. He pressed her to tell him every detail about babies and how they are conceived. His mom was uneasy to have been confronted so early with questions that she hadn't expected to deal with for two or three more years. But there she was and she couldn't wiggle out. Okay, she said to herself, here we go. She told him everything. All the time she was talking, the boy sat staring ahead with eyes unfocused. When the lesson was over, he reached over and pressed the switch to lower the window, then stuck out his head. He said, "Oooohhhh! Sick! I'm gonna be sick. I don't even want to remember this!" A few weeks later when his cousin was born, he told his little brother where the baby came from. But he didn't get it quite right. "The mom and dad," he said, "had to do that spur thing" (meaning sperm thing).
Book: Bringing Up Boys
By Dr. James Dobson