Mystery in Marriage

If you want to put some new life in your marriage, try thinking like a teenager again.

We all remember, fondly or otherwise, the craziness of our dating days. The coy attitudes, the flirting, the fantasies, the chasing after the prize. As we moved from courtship into marriage, most of us felt we should grow up and leave the game playing behind. But we may not have matured as much as we'd like to think.

In truth, our romantic relationships will always bear some characteristics of adolescent sexuality. Adults still love the thrill of the chase, the lure of the unattainable, the excitement of the new and boredom with the old. Immature impulses are controlled and minimized in a committed relationship, of course, but they never fully disappear.

This might be a key to keeping vitality in your marriage. If things seem stale between you and your spouse, maybe you should remember some old tricks. Maybe it's time for a little mystery, a little flirtatiousness, a date where you revisit the places you enjoyed when your love was new and relive some of the happy moments that brought you together.

If it sounds a little immature to act like a teenager again, just keep this in mind: In the best marriages, the chase is never really over.

By Dr. James Dobson