Q&A – Improving Communication with Your Spouse

Question: What can a husband and wife do to improve their communication if they have this classic problem?

Answer: The solution requires compromise that should begin, I believe, with the man. Under Mosaic law, a newlywed husband had a specific responsibility to "cheer up his wife which he hath taken" (Deuteronomy 24:5, KJV). That still sounds like a good idea. Time must be reserved for meaningful talks. Taking walks and going out to breakfast and riding bicycles on Saturday mornings are conversation inducers that help keep love alive. With a little effort, good communication can occur even in families like yours where the husband leans inward and the wife leans outward.

On the other hand, women must understand and accept the fact that some men cannot be what they want them to be. Masculine emotional structure makes it impossible for these men to comprehend the feelings and frustrations of another--particularly those occurring in the opposite sex. Obviously, women have to do some compromising too.

By Dr. James Dobson