Roger Marsh: Welcome to Family Talk. I'm Roger Marsh. Thank you for joining us today. Hope you spent some time relaxing with your family and friends over this past weekend. Enjoying quality time with our loved ones is quite nurturing for our mental health. And when it comes to fathers in the home, it's essential. Do you know how important the role of a father is in the stability of the household. The leadership and strength provided by a man to simply be there and be present is critical, especially for a child's mental health and development.
The effects of fatherless homes are a big component of so many problems that hurt our world today and have a negative impact on the culture. If more fathers were leading their families, statistically we would see more positive effects in our world like a reduction in crime and a reduction in unplanned pregnancies as well. People would also have better physical and emotional health across the board in so many situations also.
Unfortunately, our culture has been de-emphasizing the importance of fathers in movies and television, social media, for example. Many dads didn't have strong father figures in their own lives when they were young, so how do men become great fathers today?
Well, our guest here on Family Talk, Pastor Brenen Beeler, will explain how the Word can help equip fathers to build healthy families who thrive. Brenen Beeler, is a national speaker and the founder and lead pastor of Regenerate Church in Southern California. He and his wife Morgan, have three beautiful children who they are raising to know and understand Jesus. Let's listen now as a good friend of our ministry, Pastor Brenen Beeler addresses the congregants assembled at his church with this important message about dads, right here on Family Talk.
Pastor Brenen Beeler: Guess what day the most phone calls are made on of the year? What day of the year the most phone calls are made? Guess what it is?
Audience: Mother's Day.
Pastor Brenen Beeler: You got it. Mother's Day. Mother's Day, the most phone calls are made out of any day of the year. But dad's I don't want you to feel left out today. True fact, the most collect calls are made on Father's Day. True fact. I'm not making this up and that's because, well, dad, well, dad always pays for stuff, doesn't he? It costs a lot to be a dad, doesn't it? It's been said that dads carry photos where they used to carry their money. How many of you have had a dad growing up that he had a bunch of photos in his wallet and never any cash? That was me, and it does cost a lot to be a dad.
Dads pay for a lot and oftentimes a lot of those things that dads provide for are really taken for granted, or not really appreciated, or maybe even they go unnoticed. But it does cost a lot, even financially, to be a dad. It costs even more when dads aren't being the dads that God has called them to be.
Recent secular research has found that the missing component in society today and the reason for many of the social ills in society today have a direct connection to the absence of a true father in the home. In the past 30 years, there has been a 550% increase in violent crime. We can see that in the day in which we live. A 400% increase in illegitimate births. A 200% increase in teenage pregnancy and a 300% increase in teenage suicide. And secular experts have traced all of these things back to one singular thing, the breakdown of the family and specifically the absence of a father in the home.
There is a father absent crisis in America. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 19.7 million children, nationwide, live without a father in the home. 19.7 million. Do you understand that's one in every four kids in the United States don't have a dad in the home? One expert said that we are in danger of becoming a fatherless society. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, statistics show that when a child is raised in a father absent home, the kids are affected in these following ways. They are two times more likely to drop out of high school. Girls are seven times more likely to become pregnant as a teen. There is a four times greater risk of poverty in the family, and these kids are 279% more likely to carry guns and deal drugs.
They are more likely to commit crimes, more likely to go to prison, more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and two times more likely to suffer obesity. Also, 63% of all youth suicides are from a fatherless home. 90% of all homeless and runaway youth are from a father absent home. 85% of all children that exhibit major behavioral disorders are from father absent homes. 71% of all high school dropouts are from father absent homes. 70% of juveniles in state operate institutions are from father absent homes. 75% of adolescent patients in substance abuse centers are from father absent homes. And 75% of rapists motivated by displaced anger are also from father absent homes.
And the list goes on, and on, and on about the statistics of what happens in our culture and society when fathers aren't present, when fathers aren't being the fathers that God has called them to be. And that's why I believe that a man who honors the vows he has made to his wife and stands by his children and grandchildren and leads them to the Lord are truly the unsung heroes of our country.
Dads, we need you. Men. We need you. Society needs you. Our homes need you, your families need you. And as men of God, we are called to lead. Aren't you thankful for the men of God who are leading in our country today? And listen, and this isn't just for men but also applies to men, we are called to lead by example. 1 Peter 5:2 puts it this way, "Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you." What is your flock? That's your family. That's what you have the responsibility to protect and to provide for. That's your flock. We are told to care for it, what God has entrusted to us. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly, not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve the Lord.
Don't lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example. Whether it's pastoring, or parenting, or being the president of marketing, we are called to lead the people that have been entrusted to us in this way, by your own good example. Not, "Do as I say, but do as I do."
Listen, this is the key to Christian life and how we ought to live, to set the example. And for that reason, I want to talk to you today about the importance for us to provide the pattern with our lives that God has given for others to build their life upon. In 1 Chronicles 28, our text for today, David, who is the king, is at the end of his life, he's dying and he knows that he doesn't have much longer to live. And so he calls his son Solomon and he assembles all the leaders in the land and he tells them what he had in his heart to do.
That in his heart, he desired to build God a temple. A place that the ark of the covenant would reside in. The place where God's tangible presence would be felt in experienced acts. And he had this burden in his heart to build a house for the Lord, a temple. But God told David that he could not do that because he was a man of war and he had too much blood on his hands. But God tells David that David's son, Solomon, would be the next in line to be King and Solomon would be the one to build the temple.
So David goes before all the nations of Israel and he says to his son, Solomon, in front of all the leaders in 1 Chronicles 28:9, David says this, "Solomon my son, learn to know the God of your ancestors intimately." Wow. Learn to know God intimately. This relationship that you need to have with God isn't one of distance one where God is far from you, but it's a close intimate relationship. It's a personal relationship. It's one that you walk and talk with God in, it's one that you spend time with and that you learn to grow close to the Lord.
He says, "Learn to know the God of your ancestors intimately." And then he says, "Worship and serve Him with your whole heart and a willing mind." Our lives are meant to worship God and to serve God with all of our hearts. And then it says, "For the Lord sees every heart and knows every plan and thought. If you seek him, you will find him. But if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever. So..." verse 10, "take this seriously. The Lord has chosen you to build a temple as his sanctuary. Be strong and do the work."
Then David gave Solomon, here it is, the plans for the temple and its surroundings, including the entry room, the storerooms, the upstairs rooms, the inner rooms, and the inner sanctuary, which was the place of atonement. David also gave Solomon all the plans he had in mind for the courtyards of the Lord's temple, the outside rooms, the treasuries and the rooms for the gifts dedicated to the Lord.
The King also gave Solomon the instructions concerning the work of the various divisions of the priests and Levites in the temple of the Lord and he gave specifications for the items in the temple that were to be used for worship. So here's David, David couldn't build Solomon's temple. He wanted to build Solomon's Temple, but God said, "No, Solomon will be the one to build the temple." So David, instead of moping around and saying, "Well, if I can't do it, I guess someone else will have to." What David does is he does everything he can. "Okay, well, if I can't build the temple, well then I'm going to compile all the resources. I'm going to get all the materials ready. I'm going to even have all the blueprints done." And so David assembles everything and then when it comes time for Solomon to build Solomon's Temple, David says, "My son here is the plans."
The King James version puts that word, the plans, the pattern. What it's talking about, it's the blueprints. David had the drawings all drawn up and ready to go, "Here's how you can build the temple. Here are the instructions for the construction. Here's how you're going to do it, Solomon." In other words, David's showing Solomon. "Here is what the temple is supposed to look like. Here's what it's supposed to be like." David couldn't build Solomon's Temple, but David did what he could do and David gave Solomon the pattern in which to follow.
Then in verses 14 through 18, we read that David provided his son Solomon, everything he possibly could need to accomplish this task. He was equipped with all the resources necessary to follow the pattern that David provided. And then it goes on to say in verse 19, "Every part of this plan." David told Solomon, "was given to me in writing from the hand of the Lord." David tells Solomon this important truth, something that we each need to know today for our own lives.
The Lord is the one that is inspiring this pattern. So verse 20, David continued, "Be strong and courageous and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged for the Lord God, my God is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the temple of the Lord is finished correctly." Now, David tells his son, Solomon, "Be strong. Get to work. You can do it. So be courageous. Don't be filled with fear. Do the work."
Now here's the application for us today. 1 Corinthians 6:19, now New Testament. It says this, "Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirits who lives in you and was given to you by God?" Now here's the application. In the Old Testament God was limited to that Holy of Holies, His presence was there over the Ark of the Covenant where the high priest, one man on one day of the year, the day of Atonement, would be able to enter in and get a glimpse of God's glory.
And in those days, people would go to the temple just to feel near to God, to worship God. But now, New Testament, when Jesus Christ died on the cross and he said, "[foreign language 00:16:26], it is finished." We are told in the gospels that that veil, that was the wall that separated the Holy of Holies from the holy place in the sanctuary, God's presence from people was torn into, ripped from top to bottom as if God just ripped it from Heaven, symbolizing and signifying this truth that God's presence isn't just for one person on one day of the year, but God's presence is for every person, every day of the year.
David wanted to build Solomon's Temple, but Solomon ultimately was the only one that could build Solomon's Temple. And you as a dad, maybe as a mom, a parent wish that you could make all the decisions for your kids, that you, even for your adult children wish that you could build their life because you know what would be best, what would work best and what they should do.
But listen, there comes a time where you can't. Dads, you might not be able to make every decision for your kids, but here's what you can do. And this is not only for fathers here today, but this is for single men, this is for married men, this is for moms and single ladies. This is for every single one of us here today. Here's what you can do. It is your responsibility as a person to provide the pattern for others to follow in the way that a godly person looks like. You are to provide them the pattern with your life that they are to follow.
"Hey, I can't do it." But you can. "But here's what I can do. I can give you everything necessary, the blueprints, the pattern for you to follow that if you simply follow the pattern that God has given, then your life will be built in the way that it needs to be."
"How am I supposed to build my life?" Listen, God has given to you the blueprints. He has given it to you in writing. It is the Word of God, the Living Word of God. His instructions for your life, it's been very cheesy and classically said that the Bible is the acronym for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. B-I-B-L-E. Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. But in reality, God's Word, it's the blueprints for us to build our lives upon. It's the blueprints for others to be able to follow.
And listen, men, the very fact that you are here today on this beautiful sunny day, you've chosen to be here saying, "The plan is making the Lord a priority." And by simply doing that, just by being here, not counting on the devotions that we need to be leading our families in and family Bible study, but simply just by being here today, is making a huge difference.
Do you realize that? For you to lead your family to the Lord is making a huge impact in the future of their lives? If you don't believe me. Well, let me share with you a study that was done in Switzerland, which by the way, is not a Christian country. And this study in Switzerland, a very secular pagan country, did a study on family influence on Christianity. And they found in this huge research project that if a mom goes to church regularly and dad only goes occasionally, that is mom goes all the time and dad goes sometimes, that when the children grow up and can make their own decisions to go to church, only 3% of children commit to going to church. That is if mom goes regularly and dad only goes occasionally.
Now, if mom goes regularly and dad never goes, it goes down to 2% of kids when they grew up will end up going to church. Now, here's where the study got mind-blowing. If mom and dad both go regularly, that percentage jumps up to 33% of kids when they grow up and can make their own decision, 33% of kids will say, "You know what? I'm going to go. Not with my mom or dad, but without them if necessary, I'm going to take myself to church." It jumps up in huge numbers, but it even gets weirder. That's if mom and dad both go regularly, 33% of kids when they grow up will go to church.
But if dad goes to church regularly, consistently and mom only goes sometimes it even goes up more to 38% of kids will end up taking themselves to church. The point that this is mind-blowing is simply this, that kids are looking to the father in the home to set the example. So much so that the study found this, when dad goes regularly, consistently to church and mom never goes to church, 44% of kids will end up going to church when they grow up and can make their own decision.
Because your son, your daughter, our kids, they are looking to dad to provide the pattern. They're looking to the father and the reason why that has even greater impact when the dad says, "Even when my wife isn't going to get up and make the kids breakfast. Even when my wife is going to sleep in on Sunday mornings. Even when I have to get the kids ready and do the extra work, and even if I have to take the kids to church by myself, I'm going to church. And as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord."
When dad makes that as a priority and the kids see when dad does it and when they see that in dad and his commitment to take the family and to lead the family to church, that has a lasting impact in kids. More so when mom does and dad never goes, because in the family God is designed it to be where the man of the house, the father is called to be the spiritual leader. It's time for the godly men to put on the spiritual pants of the home and to lead their family unto the Lord. Like Joshua said, "As for me in my house, we will serve the Lord."
Roger Marsh: Patterns are all around us in nature from the way a tree grows to how a snowflake is formed. Isn't it impressive when we notice the beauty of what God has created all around us? Well, God also gave us biblical patterns to follow for how we should model our spiritual lives. You've been listening to Family Talk. I'm Roger Marsh, and we just heard part one of Pastor Brenen Beeler's message about fatherhood. If you missed any part of today's program or if you'd like to listen to parts one and two in their entirety, just visit drjamesdobson.org. That's drjamesdobson.org.
While you're on the website, consider signing up for our 10-Day Marriage Series. You may have heard the old saying, "The husband and wife who pray together, stay together." Well, prayer is very powerful and it really can change all kinds of situations. To take that challenge, all you have to do is visit our homepage and select the 10-Day Marriage Series. It's right there on the upper right-hand corner of the page.
Once you click on the Marriage Series image, you'll be directed to the 10-day Marriage Series sign up page. Simply input your email address and then click on the signup button from the day you sign up for the next 10 days afterwards, you'll receive an encouraging email from Dr. James Dobson, about how to strengthen your marriage. The email includes some words of wisdom from Dr. Dobson, and some questions for you and your spouse to answer, as well as a prayer to say together.
All marriages require intention, dedication, and hard work to realize the gifts God intended for marriage. Sprinkle in some love, trust, and grace, and you have a pretty nice recipe for success. Well, as Pastor Brenen Beeler reminded us today from 1 Chronicles 28:10, we read, "The Lord has chosen you to build a temple as His sanctuary. Be strong and do the work."
Men, be sure to do that work. It's what we're good at and it's what we're built for. God has given you the blueprint for your family and for your home. If you follow Him, you and your family will surely benefit. Join us again for part two of this important message about Dads. I'm Roger Marsh and you've been listening to Family Talk, the voice you trust for the family you love.
Announcer: This has been a presentation of the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute.