Have you noticed that there are two kinds of kids in the world? Yes, there are boys and girls, but they differ in another important way, too. We can divide them into two categories according to their basic temperaments.
The first is composed of "compliant kids," those who sleep through the night from the second week of life. They coo at their grandparents, and they smile while their diapers are being changed. They never spit up on the way to the grocery store or the doctor's office because that would be inconvenient for their parents. During later childhood they love to keep their rooms clean and they do their homework brilliantly without being asked.
Then there are the children we might call "strong-willed" kids. They get their mother's attention long before birth because they start scratching their initials on the walls and kicking like crazy. They enter the world smoking a cigar, yelling about the temperature in the delivery room, and complaining about the utter incompetence of the nursing staff. From about eighteen months forward, they want to run things and tell everyone else what to do. Their favorite word is "no!"
Compliant children are a breeze to raise, of course, but the tougher kids can turn out fine, too. The trick is to shape that strong will during the early years without breaking the spirit. This is done by setting boundaries very clearly and then enforcing them with loving firmness. Even the toughest kids find security in a structured environment where other people's rights, as well as their own, are protected. That task is one of the most important challenges of parenthood.
When it is done right, even the most independent child can learn to be responsible and self-disciplined.
HOME WITH A HEARTBy Dr. James Dobson