Insensitive Men

Question: Why are men so insensitive to women's needs today? They seem oblivious to the longings of their wives, even when every effort is made to communicate and educate.

Answer: I question whether men have really changed all that much over the years. Rather, I doubt if men have ever responded as women preferred. Did the farmer of a century ago come in from the fields and say, "Tell me how it went with the kids today"? No, he was as oblivious to his wife's nature as husbands are today. What has changed is the relationship between women!

A century ago women cooked together, canned together, washed clothes at the creek together, prayed together, went through menopause together, and grew old together. And when a baby was born, aunts and grandmothers and neighbors were there to show the new mother how to diaper and feed and discipline. Great emotional support was provided in this feminine contact. A woman was never really alone.

Alas, the situation is very different today. The extended family has disappeared, depriving the wife of that source of security and fellowship. Her mother lives in New Jersey and her sister is in Texas. Furthermore, American families move every three or four years, preventing any long-term friendships from developing among neighbors. And there's another factor that is seldom admitted: American women tend to be economically competitive and suspicious of one another. Many would not even consider inviting a group of friends to the house until it was repainted, refurnished, or redecorated. As someone said, "We're working so hard to have beautiful homes and there's nobody in them!" The result is isolation--or should I say insulation--and its first cousin: loneliness.

Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions

By Dr. James Dobson

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